TRANSCRIPT: SWAZILAND DECLARES WAR ON NIGERIA
As a result of Nigerian journalist, Richard Ali’s, satire published in The African, Swaziland declares war on Nigeria.
King Mswati: President of Nigeria, on guard! Swaziland hereby declares war on Nigeria.
President Buhari: *shocked silence* (dials the National Security Adviser). General Monguno, where exactly is this Swaziland?
NSA Monguno: Let me get back to you on that, Excellency.
(15 minutes later)
President Buhari: Ah, Your Highness. My people have been able to locate your country…
King Mswati: I will accept an unconditional surrender.
President Buhari: Your Highness…
King Mswati: I am My Royal Highness!
President Buhari: Sorry, Your Royal Highness. Are you aware Nigeria is located 7,000 kilometers from your, erm, country? That Nigeria is nearly 1,000,000 square kilometers in size, has one of the best militaries on the continent on top of 170 million very colorful people?
King Mswati: Hmmm. 170 million people, you say? Hold on, Mr. President.
(15 minutes later). Mr. President, I regret to inform you Swaziland will be withdrawing our declaration of war. Swaziland is a strict adherent of the Geneva Convention and we cannot treat 170 million prisoners of war as well as we should.